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You Shop Differently When You're Lonely

by Katie Moritz
May 5, 2017 | Health

Have you ever gone shopping for one small thing and ended up seriously overspending? Maybe you got swept up in the excitement of finding the perfect gift (for yourself or someone else), but, if you find yourself in that situation a lot, you also might be lonely.

University of Iowa associate professor of marketing Jing "Alice" Wang studies the behaviors of lonely people and has found a link between isolation and impulsive buying.

People who are lonely are often worrying about being lonely, Wang said to the university. They're fixating on the things that are missing from their lives, depleting their mental resources.

Lonely pbs rewire

"Research has found resource depletion has many different effects on people, and one of them is impulsive buying," she said. "Lonely people don't mean to buy something, they just do, and this can lead to negative downstream emotions, like regret."

So while the retail therapy might feel good in the moment, it might cause an already lonely person more negative feelings later. People who aren't lonely and feel satisfied with the relationships in their lives show more self-control in this area. They're less likely to spend impulsively and buy things they don't need, Wang said.

Lonely shopping, lonely choices

Lonely shoppers are also more inclined to buy the thing most people don't want. If a product is advertised as something eight out of 10 people want, Wang said, they won't buy it to use in their home. They'll buy the thing only two of 10 people want.

Lonely pbs rewire

"Lonely people sense that they're in the minority themselves because most people aren't lonely, so if a product is endorsed by a minority, they can relate more with it," she said.

However, if they're buying something they'll be using in public, they're more likely to buy the thing most people want, she said. Lonely people also form meaningful bonds with the things they buy in ways that shoppers who aren't lonely don't.

Shoppers who aren't lonely "tend to buy things either for the product functions or for public show," Wang said. "They don't typically form human-like relationships with it."

How can you tell if you're lonely?

Being lonely isn't the same as being alone for a little while or enjoying time spent by yourself (I see you, introverts). According to Wang, loneliness is triggered by a "friendship deficit"—it's the sadness felt by people who don't feel satisfied with the number of relationships they have in their lives.

There's no set number of friends you need to have in order to stave off loneliness; it's all about how you feel about the relationships you have. If you have just one or two close friends, but you're totally content with that, you're not lonely, she said.

Lonely pbs rewire

"Someone growing up in a big family with lots of kids might need a lot of relationships to be happy," Wang said. "Others can be happy with just two or three friends. For some, a friend on the other side of the globe to talk with on the phone is enough."

Despite the technology that connects us, people in the U.S. are more socially isolated now than they were two decades ago, Wang and her research team wrote in a research paper on shopping behaviors of lonely folks. If you're struggling with loneliness, Wang suggests keeping an eye out for compulsive shopping tendencies and being mindful while spending money. If you're about to buy something, pause to consider if it's something you really need.

Looking to meet people? Check out these insights into online dating:

Why Being Anonymous Hurts Your Online Dating Efforts

What's Your Best Face for Online Dating?

Can Tinder Improve Your Relationship With Yourself?

Katie Moritz
Katie Moritz was Rewire's senior editor from 2016-2020. She is a Pisces who enjoys thrift stores and pho. Follow her on Twitter @katecmoritz.
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